By Brent Lacy

Let’s start with an honest question: when you think about men’s ministry in your church, what comes to mind?

If you’re like most small church pastors, you think about the men who aren’t there. The ones who used to come. The ones who never started. The ones who work on Sunday mornings or can’t sit through a service because their marriage is falling apart or their addiction is winning.

You’re not alone in this. The men are missing from rural American churches, and the problem is getting worse.

The State of Men in Rural America

The numbers are stark:

• Rural men die from opioid overdoses at nearly double the rate of urban men (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2023)
• The male suicide rate in rural counties is 48% higher than in metropolitan areas (CDC)
• Only 39% of rural men attend church regularly, compared to 53% of rural women (Pew Research Center, 2024)
• According to the American Psychological Association (2024), men in rural areas report significantly higher rates of social isolation than their urban counterparts

These are not just statistics. They are the men in your community. They live on your street. They work at the same places your church members work. And most of them have never been invited to anything at your church. Or they were invited once, didn’t come, and never heard from anyone again.

What Men’s Ministry Looks Like in a Small Church

First, let’s kill the fantasy: men’s ministry in a church of 60 people doesn’t look like Promise Keepers. It doesn’t look like a massive men’s conference with professional speakers and catered meals.

It looks like four guys meeting in a back room at 6:30 AM on Tuesday because that’s the only time they can all make it.

It looks like a Saturday morning breakfast at the local diner where one man asks a question he’s been too afraid to ask anyone else.

It looks like a pastor who drives to a member’s job site once a month to eat lunch with him because that man will never come to a Wednesday night men’s Bible study.

It looks like two men committing to walk together through life , one older, one younger , meeting every week not because there’s a program, but because they promised each other they would.

The Core Elements That Work

After reading the research, talking to rural pastors, and studying what’s actually working in small churches, four elements keep showing up in effective men’s ministry:

1. Bible Study That’s Honest, Not Academic

Rural men respect authenticity over expertise. They don’t need a teacher who has all the answers. They need a leader who is further down the same road they’re walking. A good men’s Bible study in a small church has three things: the text, a leader willing to prepare, and the freedom to say “I don’t know” when someone asks a hard question.

2. Mentoring That’s Relational, Not Programmatic

The research is clear: men who have a mentoring relationship in their church are 3.2 times more likely to remain active in faith five years later (Journal of Psychology and Theology, 2023). But the most effective mentoring isn’t a program , it’s a relationship. One older man. One younger man. Consistency over time. Life conversation, not just Bible knowledge.

3. Events That Build, Not Just Gather

Your men’s retreat doesn’t need a $5,000 budget. It needs a purpose, a plan, and a few guys willing to help. A one-day retreat for under $200 can be more transformational than an expensive weekend because what matters is not the venue , it’s the conversation that happens when men slow down long enough to talk honestly.

4. Ministry That Goes Where the Men Are

This is the most important one, and the one most churches ignore. The men who need your church most are the ones who will never walk through your door on Sunday morning. Your men’s ministry has to leave the building. It has to go to the deer stand, the job site, the coffee shop, the truck stop. You have to go to them because they are not coming to you.

A Word to the Pastor Who’s Overwhelmed

If you’re a bi-vocational pastor reading this on your phone during a lunch break, here’s my encouragement: you don’t have to build a men’s ministry. You have to find one man.

One man who loves other men. One man who’s willing to be faithful over time. One man who will show up even when it’s inconvenient.

That’s your men’s ministry. Start there. God will do the rest.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” , Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

Frequently Asked Questions

How do we start a men’s ministry in a small church?

Start with a simple breakfast or Bible study. Consistency matters more than programming. A monthly gathering that men can count on is better than ambitious plans that fizzle.

What do men in small churches actually need?

Brotherhood, accountability, and biblical challenge. Men need other men who will speak truth, pray together, and serve alongside them.

How do we get men to show up?

Ask them personally. Men respond to personal invitations from other men. Avoid programmatic approaches , focus on relationships.

What about men’s retreats or conferences?

These can be powerful but are not the foundation. Build a consistent local gathering first, then add occasional events.

How do we keep men’s ministry from becoming a social club?

Keep Scripture central. Every gathering should include meaningful Bible engagement, not just fellowship.