How to Preach on Sexuality in a Small Church Without Losing People or Compromising Truth
The congregation that has never heard their pastor preach on sexuality from Scripture is a congregation that is being formed on this topic by every other voice in the culture. The pastor who avoids it is not protecting his congregation. He is leaving them unequipped.
Preaching on sexuality is one of the most avoided topics in small church ministry. The pastor is afraid of offending people, of losing families, of being labeled. The congregation contains people with same-sex attraction, people in difficult marriages, people who have experienced sexual abuse, people whose children have made choices the parents grieve. The topic is genuinely complex and genuinely personal.
None of this is a reason to avoid it. It is a reason to approach it with both faithfulness and genuine pastoral care.
The Biblical Foundation
The Bible’s teaching on sexuality is clear and consistent: sexual intimacy is designed by God for marriage between a man and a woman, and all sexual activity outside that context is outside God’s design. This is not a cultural accommodation. It is the consistent teaching of both Testaments, affirmed by Jesus himself (Matthew 19:4-6).
The Bible is also clear that sexual sin is not the unforgivable sin, that the gospel is for everyone regardless of their sexual history, and that the church is called to be a community of grace and truth rather than judgment and exclusion.
Who Is in the Room
Before you preach on sexuality, think carefully about who is in the room. In a typical small church congregation, there are likely:
- People who have experienced sexual abuse
- People who are struggling with same-sex attraction
- People who are in or have been in sexual relationships outside of marriage
- People whose children or grandchildren identify as LGBTQ
- People who have experienced divorce and remarriage
- People who are single and struggling with loneliness and sexual temptation
Preaching on sexuality that does not acknowledge the complexity of these situations will feel like a lecture rather than pastoral care. Preaching that acknowledges the complexity while remaining faithful to Scripture will feel like genuine pastoral engagement.
Truth and grace
are not in tension. Jesus was full of both (John 1:14). Preach both.
Who is in the room
shapes how you preach. Know your congregation before you preach on this topic.
The gospel
is for everyone regardless of their sexual history. Preach this clearly.
How to Preach It
Preach from the text, not from the culture war
The sermon on sexuality that is primarily a response to cultural trends is a sermon that will feel political. The sermon that is primarily an exposition of what Scripture says will feel pastoral. Let the text set the agenda. Preach Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 6, or Genesis 1-2. Let the text say what it says.
Preach the design before you preach the deviation
Start with God’s design for sexuality: good, beautiful, purposeful, and given for human flourishing. A congregation that understands the goodness of God’s design for sexuality is better equipped to understand why deviations from that design are harmful. Do not start with what is wrong. Start with what is right.
Preach with genuine compassion for those who are struggling
The person in your congregation who is struggling with same-sex attraction, who has experienced sexual abuse, or who is grieving a child’s choices needs to hear that the gospel is for them, that the church is a place of grace, and that their struggle does not disqualify them from belonging. Preach this explicitly.
Preach with pastoral awareness of who is in the room
Before you preach, think carefully about the specific people sitting in front of you. Some of them are carrying things they have never told anyone. Some of them have had previous conversations about this topic that lacked compassion and left wounds. The pastor who preaches with genuine awareness of the people in the room, who holds truth and care together without softening either, will be heard in ways that the pastor who only delivers doctrine will not. Truth without pastoral care is not faithful preaching. It is incomplete preaching.
The sermon on sexuality that people remember is the one that was both true and kind.
Not the one that was true but harsh. Not the one that was kind but vague. The one that held both together. That is the hardest sermon to preach and the most valuable one.
Preach on sexuality before a crisis forces you to.
The worst time to preach on sexuality for the first time is when a family in your congregation is in crisis over it. Preach on it in the normal course of your preaching through Scripture. Build a congregation that has a biblical framework for sexuality before they need it.
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How to Preach on Sexuality in a Small Church Without Losing People or Compromising Truth
The congregation that has never heard their pastor preach on sexuality from Scripture is a congregation that is being formed on this topic by every other voice in the culture. The pastor who avoids it is not protecting his congregation. He is leaving them unequipped.
Preaching on sexuality is one of the most avoided topics in small church ministry. The pastor is afraid of offending people, of losing families, of being labeled. The congregation contains people with same-sex attraction, people in difficult marriages, people who have experienced sexual abuse, people whose children have made choices the parents grieve. The topic is genuinely complex and genuinely personal.
None of this is a reason to avoid it. It is a reason to approach it with both faithfulness and genuine pastoral care.
The Biblical Foundation
The Bible’s teaching on sexuality is clear and consistent: sexual intimacy is designed by God for marriage between a man and a woman, and all sexual activity outside that context is outside God’s design. This is not a cultural accommodation. It is the consistent teaching of both Testaments, affirmed by Jesus himself (Matthew 19:4-6).
The Bible is also clear that sexual sin is not the unforgivable sin, that the gospel is for everyone regardless of their sexual history, and that the church is called to be a community of grace and truth rather than judgment and exclusion.
Who Is in the Room
Before you preach on sexuality, think carefully about who is in the room. In a typical small church congregation, there are likely:
- People who have experienced sexual abuse
- People who are struggling with same-sex attraction
- People who are in or have been in sexual relationships outside of marriage
- People whose children or grandchildren identify as LGBTQ
- People who have experienced divorce and remarriage
- People who are single and struggling with loneliness and sexual temptation
Preaching on sexuality that does not acknowledge the complexity of these situations will feel like a lecture rather than pastoral care. Preaching that acknowledges the complexity while remaining faithful to Scripture will feel like genuine pastoral engagement.
Truth and grace
are not in tension. Jesus was full of both (John 1:14). Preach both.
Who is in the room
shapes how you preach. Know your congregation before you preach on this topic.
The gospel
is for everyone regardless of their sexual history. Preach this clearly.
How to Preach It
Preach from the text, not from the culture war
The sermon on sexuality that is primarily a response to cultural trends is a sermon that will feel political. The sermon that is primarily an exposition of what Scripture says will feel pastoral. Let the text set the agenda. Preach Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 6, or Genesis 1-2. Let the text say what it says.
Preach the design before you preach the deviation
Start with God’s design for sexuality: good, beautiful, purposeful, and given for human flourishing. A congregation that understands the goodness of God’s design for sexuality is better equipped to understand why deviations from that design are harmful. Do not start with what is wrong. Start with what is right.
Preach with genuine compassion for those who are struggling
The person in your congregation who is struggling with same-sex attraction, who has experienced sexual abuse, or who is grieving a child’s choices needs to hear that the gospel is for them, that the church is a place of grace, and that their struggle does not disqualify them from belonging. Preach this explicitly.
Preach with pastoral awareness of who is in the room
Before you preach, think carefully about the specific people sitting in front of you. Some of them are carrying things they have never told anyone. Some of them have had previous conversations about this topic that lacked compassion and left wounds. The pastor who preaches with genuine awareness of the people in the room, who holds truth and care together without softening either, will be heard in ways that the pastor who only delivers doctrine will not. Truth without pastoral care is not faithful preaching. It is incomplete preaching.
The sermon on sexuality that people remember is the one that was both true and kind.
Not the one that was true but harsh. Not the one that was kind but vague. The one that held both together. That is the hardest sermon to preach and the most valuable one.
Preach on sexuality before a crisis forces you to.
The worst time to preach on sexuality for the first time is when a family in your congregation is in crisis over it. Preach on it in the normal course of your preaching through Scripture. Build a congregation that has a biblical framework for sexuality before they need it.