Most men’s ministry in small churches fails for one of two reasons: it tries to replicate large church programs that do not fit a small context, or it never gets started because the pastor is waiting for the right curriculum, the right format, or the right moment. Neither failure is necessary.
A men’s discipleship group in a small church can start with three men, a Bible, and a commitment to show up. Here is how to build it into something that actually changes lives.
Who to Invite First
Do not start with a general invitation to all the men in the church. Start with two or three men who are already showing signs of genuine spiritual hunger. Men who ask good questions after the sermon. Men who are already serving faithfully. Men who have expressed a desire to grow.
Invite them personally, not through an announcement. “I am starting a small group for men who want to go deeper. I thought of you. Would you be interested?” A personal invitation communicates that you see something in them. A general announcement communicates that you need bodies.
is the ideal size for a men’s discipleship group. Large enough for diversity, small enough for honesty.
is more effective than a general announcement. Invite men you have specifically identified.
matters more than curriculum. A group that meets faithfully for a year will go deeper than one with the best curriculum that meets sporadically.
Format Options
Early Morning Breakfast
The most common format for men’s groups in small churches. Meet before work, share a meal, study Scripture, pray together. The early morning time communicates that this is a priority, not an afterthought. The meal creates a natural social context. Keep it to 60-75 minutes so men can get to work on time.
Saturday Morning
Works well for bi-vocational pastors and men with demanding weekday schedules. More time available than a weekday morning. Can include a longer study or a service project. The challenge is that Saturday mornings compete with family time and other commitments.
Lunch Meeting
Works well for men who work near each other. Efficient use of time. The challenge is that lunch hours are often unpredictable and the time is limited.
Activity-Based
Some men engage better through shared activity than through a formal study. Hunting, fishing, working on a project together, or serving in the community. The discipleship happens in the conversation during and after the activity. This format is particularly effective in rural contexts where men are more comfortable doing than discussing.
What to Study
The format matters less than the content, and the content matters less than the commitment to honesty. That said, a few approaches work consistently well:
- A book of the Bible: Work through a short book together. Proverbs, James, or 1 Peter work well for men’s groups. Read a passage, discuss what it says, apply it to your specific lives.
- A biography: Read a biography of a significant Christian man together. Discuss what his life reveals about faith, character, and calling.
- A topical study: Address topics that men in your congregation are actually facing: marriage, parenting, work, finances, integrity, leadership.
The Questions That Matter
The most important element of a men’s discipleship group is not the curriculum. It is the questions that create genuine accountability. Every meeting should include some version of these:
- How are you doing, honestly?
- What is God teaching you right now?
- Where are you struggling?
- What do you need from this group?
These questions only work if the leader models honest answers. The pastor who answers “I am doing great” every week will lead a group where everyone answers “I am doing great” every week. The pastor who says “I am struggling with anger this week and I need you to pray for me” will lead a group where men are honest about their struggles.
End every meeting with specific prayer for each man. Not “Lord, bless the men in this group” but “Lord, help John with the situation at work he described. Help Mike with the conversation he needs to have with his son.” Specific prayer communicates that you were listening and that you care.
Identify one man in your congregation who you think is ready for something deeper. Have coffee with him. Tell him what you are thinking about starting. Ask if he would be interested. That conversation is the beginning of a men’s discipleship group.