By Brent Lacy

The most spiritually formative thing that can happen to a man in a small church is not a sermon. It is a relationship with another man who is further along in his faith and willing to invest in him.

A men’s discipleship group creates the conditions for that kind of relationship to happen at scale. Four to six men, meeting regularly, studying Scripture together, holding each other accountable, and praying for each other. It is simple. It is ancient. And it works.

What a Men’s Discipleship Group Is Not

A men’s discipleship group is not a Bible study class where one person teaches and the others listen. It is not a support group where men share their problems and receive sympathy. It is not a social club that happens to open with prayer.

A men’s discipleship group is a covenant relationship between men who are committed to helping each other grow in their faith. The key word is covenant. These men have made a commitment to each other that goes beyond showing up when it is convenient.

Starting the Group

Choose the right men

Do not recruit broadly. Invite specifically. Look for men who are already showing signs of spiritual hunger. Men who ask good questions after sermons. Men who are serving in the church. Men who have expressed a desire to grow.

Invite 4-6 men personally. Not with a bulletin announcement. A personal conversation: “I am starting a discipleship group and I want you to be part of it. Here is what it will look like and what I am asking you to commit to.”

Set clear expectations from the beginning

Before the group starts, be clear about what you are asking for. Weekly meetings. A minimum commitment of one year. Confidentiality. Honesty. Preparation. Men who know what they are signing up for are far more likely to follow through than men who drift into a group without clear expectations.

Establish a covenant

At the first meeting, establish a simple group covenant. What are we committing to? Attendance, confidentiality, honesty, and prayer for each other are the basics. Write it down. Have each man sign it. This is not legalism. It is clarity.

What to Do in the Meetings

A 60-90 minute weekly meeting might look like this:

• Check-in (15 minutes): Each man answers a brief question about his week. Not a full report. Just a temperature check. “What is one thing God has been teaching you this week?”
• Scripture (30 minutes): Work through a book of the Bible together. Not a lecture. A discussion. Each man reads the passage in advance and comes with observations and questions.
• Accountability (15 minutes): Each man shares one area where he needs accountability and one specific thing he is working on. The group asks follow-up questions from the previous week.
• Prayer (15 minutes): Pray for each other specifically. Not generic prayers. Prayers that reflect what was shared in the meeting.

Hard Questions That Produce Growth

The quality of a discipleship group is determined by the quality of its questions. Here are questions worth asking regularly:

• How is your relationship with God right now, honestly?
• How is your marriage? Your relationship with your children?
• Where are you most tempted right now?
• Is there anything you are hiding from this group?
• What is one thing you know God is asking you to do that you have not done?
• How are you doing financially? Are you living within your means?

When the Group Is Ready to Multiply

After 12-18 months, a healthy discipleship group should be ready to multiply. Each man in the group should be capable of leading a group of his own. The goal is not to keep the same group together indefinitely. It is to produce men who can disciple other men.

When the group multiplies, celebrate it. This is the most significant thing a men’s discipleship group can do. It means the investment is compounding.

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