By Brent Lacy

Nobody wants to talk about church discipline. It is uncomfortable, painful, and in a small church where everyone knows everyone, it feels almost impossible.

But a church that never practices discipline is not being kind. It is being negligent. The goal of church discipline is not punishment. It is restoration. And when it is done well, it protects the person, protects the congregation, and honors the name of Christ.

The Biblical Foundation

Jesus gives the church a clear process in Matthew 18:15-17. It is not optional, and it is not punitive. It is pastoral.

Step one: Go to the person privately. If they listen, you have won your brother. Step two: Take one or two others with you. Step three: Bring it before the church. Step four: If they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Paul reinforces this in 1 Corinthians 5, Galatians 6:1, and 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15. The consistent theme is this: discipline is an act of love, not rejection.

When Does Church Discipline Apply?

Not every sin requires formal church discipline. The bar is serious, unrepentant sin that is damaging the person, the congregation, or the witness of the church. Common situations that may require formal discipline include:

• Ongoing sexual immorality that the person refuses to repent of
• Financial fraud or theft involving church members
• Persistent divisiveness or gossip that is fracturing the congregation
• Abandonment of the faith combined with active opposition to the church
• Domestic abuse or violence

The Process Step by Step

Step 1: Private conversation

Go to the person alone. This is not a confrontation. It is a pastoral visit. The goal is to help them see what they cannot see, or will not see, about their own behavior. Come with Scripture, come with humility, and come with genuine love for the person.

Most situations end here. A person who is genuinely confronted with their sin in a spirit of love will often repent. If they do, the matter is closed. Do not bring it up again.

Step 2: Bring one or two witnesses

If the private conversation produces no repentance, bring one or two mature, trusted leaders with you. This is not to gang up on the person. It is to provide accountability for the process and witnesses to what is said. In a small church, this is typically the pastor and one or two deacons or elders.

Step 3: Bring it before the church

This step is rarely reached, and it should be. If the person still refuses to repent after two private conversations, the matter is brought before the congregation. This does not mean a public shaming. It means the congregation is informed that a member is in unrepentant sin and is being called to repentance.

In a small church, this is typically done in a members-only meeting. The pastor presents the situation factually, without unnecessary detail, and calls the congregation to pray for the person and to encourage them toward repentance.

Step 4: Removal from membership

If the person still refuses to repent, the church removes them from membership. This is not a permanent rejection. It is a statement that the person has chosen to live outside the covenant of the church community. The door to restoration remains open.

Removal from membership means the person is no longer treated as a member in good standing. They are not given leadership roles, they do not vote in church business, and they are not served communion. They are still welcome to attend services.

The Unique Challenges of Small Church Discipline

In a small church, church discipline is harder for several reasons.

Everyone knows everyone. The person being disciplined is likely related to, or close friends with, half the congregation. The process will affect relationships throughout the church.

The pastor knows the person personally. This is not a stranger. It is someone the pastor has prayed with, visited in the hospital, and shared meals with. The emotional weight is significant.

There is no anonymity. In a large church, a person can quietly leave and join another congregation. In a small town, there is nowhere to go. The stakes feel higher for everyone.

Restoration: The Goal from the Beginning

Every step of the discipline process should be oriented toward restoration. The question is never “how do we remove this person?” It is “how do we help this person return to Christ and to the community?”

When a person who has been disciplined repents, the church should receive them back with joy. Not suspicion, not probation, not a long list of conditions. Joy. This is the prodigal son coming home. The church’s response should reflect that.

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