Marriage is one of the most important topics the Bible addresses and one of the most difficult to preach on well in a small church. The congregation contains people at every stage and in every situation: happily married couples, couples in crisis, singles who want to be married, singles who are content, divorced people, widows and widowers, and people whose marriages ended in ways that still carry significant pain.

A sermon on marriage that only speaks to the happily married couple in the third row is a sermon that has missed most of the congregation.

Who Is in the Room

Before you preach on marriage, think carefully about who is listening:

• Couples in genuinely good marriages who want to grow
• Couples in crisis who are wondering if their marriage will survive
• Singles who want to be married and are struggling with loneliness
• Singles who are content and do not want to be treated as incomplete
• Divorced people who carry grief, shame, or both
• Widows and widowers who are grieving a marriage that ended in death
• People in difficult marriages who have never told anyone how hard it is

The Biblical Foundation

Marriage is a picture of the gospel

Ephesians 5:22-33 is the most important marriage passage in the New Testament, and it is primarily about the gospel. The husband’s love for his wife is a picture of Christ’s love for the church. The wife’s respect for her husband is a picture of the church’s response to Christ. Preach marriage as a gospel picture, not as a set of roles to perform.

Singleness is also a gift

1 Corinthians 7:7: Paul calls singleness a gift. The single person is not incomplete. They are not waiting to become whole. They are whole in Christ, and their singleness gives them a freedom for devotion to God that married people do not have. Preach this explicitly. The single person in your congregation needs to hear that their status is not a problem to be solved.

Marriage is hard and it is worth it

The Bible does not present marriage as easy. It presents it as a covenant that requires sacrifice, forgiveness, and persistent love. The couple in your congregation who is struggling needs to hear that their struggle is normal, that their marriage is worth fighting for, and that the gospel provides the resources for genuine reconciliation and renewal.

How to Preach It

Preach to the whole congregation, not just to couples

Every sermon on marriage should have something to say to singles, to divorced people, and to widows and widowers, not just to married couples. The theology of marriage speaks to everyone because it is ultimately about the gospel. Connect the marriage passage to the gospel and you will have something to say to everyone in the room.

Be honest about the difficulty of marriage

The sermon on marriage that presents it as easy and wonderful will ring false to the couple who is struggling. Be honest about the difficulty. Acknowledge that marriage requires sacrifice, forgiveness, and persistent love. The couple who hears their pastor acknowledge the difficulty of marriage will trust him when he offers the hope of the gospel for their marriage.

Avoid the performance trap

Many sermons on marriage produce guilt rather than growth because they present marriage as a performance to be achieved rather than a covenant to be lived. The husband who leaves the sermon feeling like he is not loving his wife well enough, without any gospel resource for change, is worse off than before the sermon. Preach the gospel as the resource for marriage, not just the standard for it.