Most small church pastors avoid formal church discipline. The reasons are understandable. The church is small. Everyone knows everyone. The person being disciplined is someone’s cousin, someone’s neighbor, someone who has been in the church for 20 years. The relational cost feels too high.
But the cost of avoiding discipline is higher. A church that never exercises discipline is a church that has no meaningful standard for membership, no way to protect its congregation from ongoing harm, and no mechanism for calling a wandering member back to repentance. That is not pastoral kindness. It is pastoral negligence.
The Biblical Foundation
Jesus gives the church a clear process in Matthew 18:15-17. Paul addresses specific cases of discipline in 1 Corinthians 5 and 2 Thessalonians 3. The goal in every case is the same: restoration. Discipline is not about punishment or exclusion for its own sake. It is about calling a person back to repentance and protecting the congregation from the spread of unrepentant sin.
Galatians 6:1 frames the spirit of the whole enterprise: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Gentleness. Humility. The awareness that you are not immune to the same failures.
When Formal Discipline Is Appropriate
Not every sin requires formal church discipline. The Matthew 18 process is for situations where:
- A member has sinned against another person and refuses to be reconciled
- A member is living in ongoing, unrepentant sin that is known to the congregation
- A member’s behavior is causing harm to others in the church
- A member has been confronted privately and through witnesses and remains unrepentant
Formal discipline is not appropriate as a first response to any sin. It is the final step of a process that begins with private, personal confrontation.
The Matthew 18 process applies to sins that have affected others or become known to the congregation. Private sins that a person is genuinely repenting of are a matter for pastoral care, not church discipline.
The Matthew 18 Process in Practice
Step 1: Go Directly to the Person
This step is skipped more than any other. Before anything else, the offended party or the pastor goes directly to the person, privately, and addresses the issue. Most situations are resolved here when this step is actually followed.
In a small church, this conversation is often harder because of the relational proximity. Do it anyway. The discomfort of a direct conversation is far less than the damage of unresolved conflict.
Step 2: Bring One or Two Witnesses
If the person does not respond to private confrontation, bring one or two others. In a small church context, this is typically an elder or deacon. The witnesses serve two purposes: they ensure the conversation is fair and documented, and they add the weight of the church’s concern to the appeal.
Step 3: Bring It Before the Church
This is the step most churches never reach, and for good reason. If the process has been followed faithfully, most situations are resolved before this point. When it does reach this step, the congregation is informed of the situation and the person’s refusal to repent, and the church collectively appeals to them to return.
Step 4: Treat as an Outsider
If the person remains unrepentant after the congregation’s appeal, Jesus instructs the church to treat them “as a Gentile and a tax collector.” This means removing them from membership and the Lord’s Table. It does not mean treating them with contempt. Jesus ate with tax collectors. The goal is still restoration.
The primary biblical text for the church discipline process
Paul’s instruction on removing an unrepentant member from fellowship
The spirit of discipline: gentleness, humility, and the goal of restoration
Practical Guidance for Small Churches
Document Everything
Keep written records of every step in the process: who was present, what was said, what response was given. This protects the church legally and ensures the process is followed consistently.
Involve Your Elders or Deacons
The pastor should not carry this alone. Involve your elders or deacons from the beginning of the formal process. Their involvement distributes the relational weight and ensures the decision reflects the leadership of the church, not just one person’s judgment.
Communicate Carefully with the Congregation
When a situation reaches the congregation, communicate clearly and without unnecessary detail. The congregation needs to know enough to pray and to understand the seriousness of the situation. They do not need a full account of every private conversation.
Keep the Door Open
Discipline is not permanent exclusion. If the person repents, the church receives them back. Paul’s instruction in 2 Corinthians 2:6-8 is to reaffirm love for the repentant person so they are not “overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.” The goal was always restoration. When it happens, celebrate it.
The Hardest Part
In a small church, the hardest part of church discipline is not the theology. It is the relationships. The person being disciplined is someone you know. Their family is in the church. Their friends will take sides. The pastor will be blamed by some for being too harsh and by others for not acting sooner.
Do it anyway. A church that loves its members enough to call them to account is a church that takes the gospel seriously. That is worth the cost.
Related resources: church conflict resolution guide | church membership covenant | church bylaws guide
Put a church discipline process in your bylaws before you ever need to use it. Teach Matthew 18 from the pulpit. Make it part of your membership covenant. A congregation that understands the process is far more likely to support it when the time comes.