Isolation is not a side effect of bi-vocational ministry. It is the central danger. More bi-vocational pastors leave ministry because of isolation than because of workload. The workload is hard, but it is manageable. The isolation is what breaks people.
You need people who understand your specific situation. Not people who understand ministry in general. Not people who understand demanding jobs in general. People who understand what it is like to preach on Sunday morning after working 50 hours during the week, to answer a pastoral emergency during a work meeting, to feel like you are failing at both things simultaneously.
Why Isolation Is So Dangerous
When you are isolated, there is no one to tell you when you are burning out before you have burned out. There is no one to normalize the hard parts of your situation. There is no one to remind you that what you are experiencing is not unique to you, that other people have navigated this and survived.
Isolation also distorts your perception. The bi-vocational pastor who has no peers tends to compare himself to full-time pastors and feel inadequate, or to compare himself to his secular coworkers and feel like he is not doing enough at work. Both comparisons are unfair. Neither is accurate. But without peers who share your context, you have no accurate frame of reference.
of pastors say they have no close friends outside their congregation (Barna Group, 2017)
is the most commonly cited factor in pastoral burnout and ministry exit (Lifeway Research, 2022)
is the ideal size for a bi-vocational pastor peer group, small enough for honesty, large enough for perspective
Where to Find Other Bi-Vocational Pastors
Your Denomination or Network
Most denominations have regional gatherings of pastors. If you attend these, you will find other bi-vocational pastors. They are often quieter at these events, because the culture of many denominational gatherings assumes full-time ministry. Seek them out specifically. Ask: “Are you bi-vocational?” You will find your people.
Rural Home Missionary Association
The Rural Home Missionary Association (rhma.org) exists specifically to support pastors in small and rural churches, many of whom are bi-vocational. Their national conference is one of the best places to find peers who understand your specific context.
Rural Think Tank
The Rural Think Tank community connects rural ministry leaders, including many bi-vocational pastors. The podcast and online community are good starting points for finding peers who understand rural and small-town ministry.
Online Communities
Facebook groups for bi-vocational pastors exist and are active. Search “bi-vocational pastor” or “bivocational ministry” on Facebook. The quality varies, but the best of these groups provide genuine peer support and practical advice.
Your Own Network
You probably already know other bi-vocational pastors. The pastor of the small church across town. The guy you went to seminary with who took a small church position. The deacon at your church who used to pastor. Start with the people you already know.
What a Peer Group Looks Like
A bi-vocational pastor peer group does not need to be formal. It needs to be consistent and honest. Here is a simple structure that works:
- 3-5 people who are all bi-vocational or in similar ministry contexts
- Monthly meeting, in person if possible, video call if not
- 90 minutes, enough time for real conversation, short enough to protect
- Three questions to anchor every meeting: How are you doing spiritually? How is your family? What is the hardest thing about your ministry right now?
- Confidentiality, what is shared in the group stays in the group
The goal is honest conversation with people who understand your context. You are not looking for someone to check up on you. You are looking for someone to sit with you in the reality of what you are doing and remind you that it is worth doing.
What to Do If You Cannot Find Peers
If you genuinely cannot find other bi-vocational pastors in your area, consider these options:
- Start a group yourself. Post in your denominational network or a Facebook group: “Looking for other bi-vocational pastors for a monthly peer group. Video call. Anyone interested?”
- Find a mentor who has been bi-vocational, even if they are no longer. Their experience is still relevant.
- Attend a conference specifically for small church or rural ministry pastors. The Rural Home Missionary Association national conference is a good starting point.
- Read Brent Lacy’s Rural Youth Ministry, not because it is specifically about bi-vocational ministry, but because it is written by someone who has lived it and understands the specific challenges of rural and small-town ministry.
The bi-vocational pastor who tries to sustain ministry without peer community is not being strong. He is being foolish. Find your people. It will change your ministry and probably save it.